Many of you know what I’m about to share and dedicate a blog to, many of you do not. It just goes to show that the most unexpected things happen to even the most unlikely of people.
For about the past 2 years, I have battled with severe depression. The highs and lows have ebbed and flowed with changes of circumstances in my life, and thanks to the grace of God, this ugly beast currently only rears its ugly face every couple of weeks or so. But when the depression comes, it comes; leaving me on my knees, head bent low, shoulder blades sinking. Many of you are dearly familiar with the darkness of which I speak, most of you probably on a level much deeper than my own, though the scenarios may be similar: one moment you’re having a whale of a time with your friends at a basketball game, heckling the opposing team, obnoxiously cheering on your own. When, like a light switch, something within is turned from on to off without a moment’s warning. Suddenly all jokes made by those whose company you usually enjoy are irritating and immature (potentially the stupidest thing you’ve ever heard), energy is zapped and ALL interest in EVERYTHING around you drops to a big fat zero. Why? Heck if I know. Perhaps the little man inside your brain in charge of regulating chemicals and emotion has suddenly gone stark raving MAD and just may be using those chemicals, emotions and thoughts to make a personal meth lab. Well no matter what he’s doing in there, he’s abruptly and epically failing. And you’re miserable for it. Excellent.
Now maybe you’re smiling or maybe if I’m lucky you may have even laughed. But the truth is, we know it’s not really all that funny. But lookit, I figure if we’re going to have to deal with one of the most not funny things there is, we may as well be able to twist and stretch anything and everything around us to give us a good laugh or crack a smile, dangit. So here’s to all the really awful stuff in life, the not so awful stuff, the really not awful at all stuff (that’s the good stuff), and how a little positive thinking and appreciation of the little things can go a long, long way.
Sometimes life…well, life just sucks sometimes. – My Grandma, Renee Simmons
Sam, hey friend! I hope you dont mind that I came across your blog and may or may not follow it now :) I had bad depression in high school. boy do I know all too well what you describe. you of all people would know positive music can make the biggest difference. It did for me. stay strong. If anyone can overcome something like this, its you. no doubt.
ReplyDelete“I can't change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination.”
Jimmy Dean